


It's Our Paradise

by daedalianV



Series: Legacy [1]
Category: The 100 (TV), clexa fandom
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, Romance, Slow Build, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:38:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6914929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daedalianV/pseuds/daedalianV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before Clarke can leave back to Arkadia, it looks like her people have made a mess for Commander Lexa who is only trying to keep the coalition together and achieve peace across the board. When dark threats and even darker enemies begin to emerge, can the two face an entire war together and find their paradise in the end with all odds stacked against them? Considering it's Lexa and Clarke, that's the ultimate goal with their maybe someday becoming a reality.</p><p>Or alternatively, my way of coping by rewriting the series for myself. Starts when Clarke is packing in 3x07 and takes a completely different turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer; I don't own the 100 or its characters. I also don't own the song featured in the title, it's Pillowtalk by Zayn Malik

Time wasn't something Clarke had a lot of and she knew it. The longer it took her to gather her things, the more it set in that time had been ticking away. She would need to join Octavia soon and pass the blockade before it was too late. While she might not have thought herself to be the same supposed leader that led the rescue at Mount Weather, that hadn't made Octavia any less right. Who would she be if not the person who would go back for her people? Even Lexa had seen right into her soul – although, she had always seemed to have a way of doing that, hadn't she?

_Lexa._

Just thinking of her now had caused Clarke's movements to slow down as a thoughtful expression graced her features while her blue eyes met the leather of her bag she had been tying together. The smallest of smiles had appeared suddenly on her lips before she finished collecting her bag together. She had spoken the words _maybe someday_ to Lexa and the only way that someday would occur was if she left now and settled things back in Arkadia fast. Because now Pike hadn't only been a danger to her people, he had also been a danger to her happiness – happiness that she had finally returned to upon sharing her time with Lexa. She had endured long enough for that, hadn't she? Hadn't they both? They might have called her Wanheda, but beneath that she had still just been Clarke, right? That didn't make her exempt from such a basic human right.

Or did it?

The thought was a threat in itself, one that she had attempted to shake off with a sigh as she pulled the pack over her shoulder and set out from her room. The desire to say goodbye to Lexa one more time for now had reemerged, leaving Clarke to take some time and head toward the building she knew Lexa would be at the top at. However, as she eventually neared the very top, the door had only just clicked behind her with a subtle softness when she heard distinguishable shouts from the meeting hall just straight ahead. Clarke's brows pinched together as she slowed her pace and attempted to place the voices. 

“You would do well to remember your place!” That was certainly Titus. Even more so, she knew he must have been pissed. After all, she would have known that tone anywhere considering she had been at odds with Titus since her arrival in Polis.

“And she no longer has hers!” came the second shout, this time from a voice she couldn't figure out where she had heard it from before. However, Clarke was clever and knew that if Titus had been shouting, it was something over the sake of the Commander and the thought worried her enough to allow her heart to sink into her stomach at the next chant. 

“No Heda no mo.” 

It was oddly reminiscent of the same tone she had witnessed previously when the Commander's ambassadors attempted to dethrone her the first time. Perhaps the first time had come without warning to her, but this time she couldn't help but feel guilty as _blood must not have blood_ came to memory. Had she caused this? 

Without a second thought, Clarke made her way to the main hall, her veins filling with ice the more the chant fell from more mouths and seemed to seep impossibly loud through each crack and broken frame of the building. It echoed and bounced in her head and heart like a dark litany until she had finally reached her destination and pushed the doors open with as much might as she could muster.

“Arkadia still stands with The Commander,” Clarke spoke with a firm tone, her features a mixture of anger and worry as she took a few steps in the room to be immediately met with guards who had directed their spears toward her due to her sudden intrusion. Fortunately, with a single wave of her hand, Lexa had managed to call the guards off. 

“Skaikru no longer has merit here,” Ontari snapped at the blonde, her eyes filled to the brim with anger and hints of smug rebellion. But Clarke couldn't focus on her, her words, or even why she was there as the other spoke. Instead, blue eyes immediately focused on darkened green just a distance away. Clarke could tell Lexa had placed her walls up once more and she couldn't help but feel a pang of mournful pain in remembrance of the simplicity they had together just mere moments ago. In that room with just the two of them they had been safe and they had been together. It had been their sanctuary if only for a time and now it seemed they had once again been reminded that the world they lived in had been far from any kind of paradise. 

But that didn't mean her and Lexa couldn't make it so. They had been through and survived worse. They would figure this out together, she was sure of it.

While in thought, Clarke watched the way Lexa worked her jaw in the most subtle distinction as she sat upon her throne. The Commander wasn't happy and while she retained that seemingly untouchable icy composure she had once envied, something was _wrong_. Something was wrong and Clarke knew it by merely looking at her. They had become too big of a piece of one another to miss such a thing.

“She's right,” Lexa began after a period of silence on her part. 

“Commander –” Titus attempted to plead before a hand was held up calmly into the air to linger for a beat in order to silence him and allow her to continue. Briefly, Clarke couldn't believe what she was hearing until it finally _clicked_. Lexa didn't have the support of her ambassadors again, it was true. But what was more, she _couldn't_ have the support of Clarke either. Not politically this time, anyway.

“Skaikru rejected the coalition. It is only when they take out their own leader that I've granted that we will welcome them back,” Lexa explained, each word was seemingly spoken smoothly as she was careful to not let her stone-like demeanor waver. Although quiet anger poured from her gaze as she looked to those around the room, disappointment battled for its own space before Clarke met her gaze once more. The blonde's silence might have spoken volumes of worry of its own right now, but Lexa couldn't bring herself to listen. 

Not this time.

Lexa conveyed her own silent reassurance that Clarke greedily received before the Commander had to be the one to break her line of sight. The blonde watched as Lexa allowed a contemplative look down to the floor by her feet, soon rising elegantly from her throne and clasping her hands behind her back. 

She held her head up and forced her expression set as she spoke evenly, “No Heda no mo.” 

From her place, Clarke's mouth opened to form words of protest but nothing seemed to come out. A roar from around them crackled out but all she could see was Lexa staring straight back at her with a silence she couldn't understand this time. A look of disbelief from the blonde had been thrown Titus' way as well, noting that he at least had the decency to look ashamed for the events that had just unfolded. If Lexa wasn't Commander, what did that mean for her people back in Arkadia? What had that meant for _them_?

Suddenly it seemed like their promise of _maybe someday_ had been slipping through their fingers right before their very eyes and it was enough to suck the very air out of her lungs instantaneously. 

“Take the former Commander to the cells,” Titus spoke out with a grim inflection settling on each syllable. “Then get the novitiates. The conclave begins at dawn and a new Commander will be chosen.” As reality began to set in further, his words were painfully jarring to Clarke who had finally swallowed down the bitterness of the situation as she quickly moved toward Lexa only to be stopped yet again by the same guards. 

“I need to speak with her!” Clarke desperately voiced out.

“You'll have plenty of time to speak with her,” Ontari supplied in response through a clear sneer. “Take the treacherous sky person too!” Blue eyes suddenly couldn't help but fill with rage at the sound of Ontari's voice once more as she lunged forward. She had seen the millisecond of fear in the Azgeda warrior's face as she had almost reached her, only to be held back by the same pair of Grounder guards that had stopped her from reaching Lexa. Where had Ontari even gotten the support to overthrow Lexa? Perhaps they had both known that _jus no drein jus daun_ would have resistance, but to spur another coup? By the Ice Nation, no less. After being delivered an Emerson in a box, Clarke had thought Roan had been on their side.

Ontari, now taking advantage of a detained Clarke, curled her fist tight and pulled it back before she swung with trained force. The Ice Nation warrior, in a fluid and fast motion, struck _hard_ against the blonde's head in a moment of retaliation. Feeling the significant blow as her vision suddenly swam, Clarke's gaze had involuntarily fallen toward Lexa once more to catch a blurred Commander snarling sharply at what she assumed was the act against her. Clarke couldn't help the smile that wanted to appear though she had thought better of it. Even in a situation like this Lexa was still attempting to look out for her. Then again, when wasn't she?

“I am still Commander until another is chosen! Do not–” but Clarke couldn't make anything else out as her hearing rang in her ears and her vision darkened the room immensely so. 

If it wasn't for the pain she felt or the fact that she knew she was still in a room filled with Grounder ambassadors, Clarke would have allowed herself the tears she knew her soul so desperately wanted to spare out of pure exhaustion. Another fight, another loss, another war. She would lose the Commander, though would she also lose Lexa? But then, that's how it had always been for Clarke, hadn't it? It all seemed so inevitable.

Just like someday.

Someday would inevitably keep slipping right by her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't own the 100 or its characters. Still don't own the song in the title either.

When Clarke finally came to, the first thing she had noticed was that the area had been rather dim with only a few torches placed on holders along the outside walls. It provided just enough light though that her eyes had soon adjusted to see Lexa's face looking over her own with the only kind of quiet concern Lexa alone could manage. For that brief moment in time, Clarke was _happy_ because Lexa was there, letting her rest her hurting head upon the her lap. For a second, nothing else really mattered. Everything had been blissfully forgotten. 

But along with time came the painful realization that her head really did _hurt_ and that the once highly regarded Commander of the Twelve Clans was in a cell _with_ her. Attempting to sit up, the blonde placed her hand to her head and laid back down when it throbbed due to the action. 

“You need to rest, Clarke,” Lexa murmured softly down to the blonde with a hand coming to smooth over the side of the other's head. It had taken her a bit, but Clarke had soon realized that Lexa had been holding a wet cloth to the part of her head that hurt the most. 

“Sleeping is bad,” Clarke found herself muttering back tiredly. Of course, she had been met with a slightly confused look from the other, causing her to roll her eyes carefully. “When someone gets hit on the head hard enough, you're not supposed to let them sleep. But I guess with that being the only rest I've had thanks to _someone_ , I'll forgive you.” 

Now Lexa seemed to get it as she offered a single nod before her lips ticked upward into a subtle smile at the turn of the other's words. Even in the dark, Clarke couldn't help but catch it and share her own in return. “When I hit someone over the head, I am usually not that worried about their well-being.” 

“Clearly Ontari shares the same sentiment,” Clarke chimed sarcastically before her own hand reached up to where the cloth had been, soon pressing against it before checking for blood on her palm. At least from the looks of it, she hadn't been bleeding. 

“Clearly,” Lexa agreed, although any spark of hope or playfulness that had previously been in her tone had vanished without a trace. All that had been left was an eerie air of calm that seemed to unsettle Clarke even further.

“Lexa, we should be doing something,” Clarke spoke out as she tried to sit up once more only to be stopped by a hand on her stomach to prevent her from doing so.

“What will be, will be, Clarke. You worry needlessly over something you don't have the ability to fix.” It had taken mere seconds for Lexa to strike the sore spot that had been left in Clarke as she bristled lightly at her words.

“So then what? We just wait until someone comes down here? Lexa, they're going to kill us and you know it. Especially if Ontari becomes the next Commander. How can you be so calm?” The blonde found it unfair how even at a time like this Lexa could seem as though she were all-knowing. Almost as if she found no reason at all to panic despite every possible odd now being against them.

“Clarke–” Lexa called out softly before she was cut off.

“I don't know what the hell a conclave entails, but Ontari is there and you said she wouldn't be back until the conclave _after_ your death and yet here she is.” 

“Clarke–” 

“What if she becomes the next Commander and not Aden? Lexa, she's going to go after my people and as well armed as they are, both sides are going to suffer. I walked away from them because they were supposed to be okay, they were meant to be okay without me.”

“Clarke–” Lexa tried again, this time through a breath as she willed her patience to settle.

“And your legacy, Lexa. Ontari will destroy that. You _know_ that. How can you just sit there and–” But it was Clarke's turn to be cut off as Lexa had smiled adoringly at her before she lowered her lips to meet Clarke's with the softest kiss she could produce. It was nothing more than a ghost of what they knew could be, but for now it was enough as the former Commander pulled back. 

Not to mention, they now had prying eyes.

“Clarke, so long as someone believes in it, my legacy cannot be destroyed. For it is the people's legacy as well.” As if on cue, Lexa's eyes had lifted from her toward the entrance to the cells. Clarke's own gaze had immediately followed to find the forms of a confused Murphy standing there along with an annoyed Titus holding on to him by the back of his shirt. Three other Grounder guards had been with them, though not once did they make a move to intervene. 

“Murphy? Titus? What are you doing here?” Clarke's words seemed to mirror her own confusion as she finally sat upright and furrowed her brows. 

“Yeah, I don't exactly know myself at this point, so...” Murphy trailed off with a wary glance toward his side at Titus before it fell on the pair in the cells once more.

Taking this opportunity to stand, Lexa offered a hand over to Clarke to help her up despite still seeming to be a bit perplexed at the sudden turn of events. As she accepted the offer and rose to her feet with help, Titus had been the next to move as he pushed Murphy forward to reveal the gun he had in his left hand. Hitting the bars, Murphy gave a small grunt of pain at the contact of the metal as his hands were still bound in front of him and didn't allow him the comfort of being able to catch himself.

“Hey!” Clarke called out in protest at the treatment of Murphy.

“We don't have much time Heda, so we'll need to be quick,” Titus spoke in a tone that brooked no room for argument. Clarke was all too eager to get the three of them out of there and as far away from Ontari and whatever plan she had been hatching that the moment one of the guards unlocked the cell door, she immediately pulled Lexa along with her. It hadn't even registered to her that she had failed to let go of other girl's hand.

“What's happening?” Clarke tried to poke once more as she put a brave face on. “One moment you were giving an order to throw Lexa in a cell and the next you're helping us out?” She couldn't place if Titus was being true or not. After all, she had just seen an entire room of Grounder diplomats overthrow their own Commander willingly. 

“Titus is loyal to the Commander,” Lexa answered with her own nod of understanding toward him. 

“The coup has exposed the toxins of their politics that have no doubt seeped into the air around us. The cells would ensure that no harm came to the Commander in the meantime. You by extension, as well,” Titus explained before his eyes settled on Lexa. “You are still the same Heda that brought together the coalition. You are still the same visionary that achieved more than what was thought possible. For that, your people will not forget. The people will remember where their ambassadors will not,” Titus supplied with a small bow of respect with his head toward her. Allowing herself the tiniest smile at the admission, she held her head up once more as the gravity of their situation fell upon them. 

“As touching as this is – and truly, _it is_ ,” Murphy began dryly as he took a step toward Clarke and held out his bound hands. “Can we please get out of here now? Preferably before another Grounder comes to torture us all.”

“Wait, torture? How long have you been here?” Clarke questioned as she set a glare upon Titus. As grateful as she was to have him on their side, that hadn't made her any less upset now at the treatment of one of her own.

“Don't worry about that right now, Clarke,” Lexa responded patiently toward the other before she waved the other two guards in. The moment they entered, the supply packs they individually held were set down at their feet. It was then as Clarke moved to check what supplies they had just received that she noticed she had tugged at Lexa's hand again. She hadn't known she had still been holding it and it was with a small smile sent toward the other that she gave it a light squeeze before she released it and moved down to go over what they had. Finding the first dagger she saw, she wasted no time in turning to place the blade under the rope that bound together Murphy's hands and cut it off. Once he had been free, he joined Clarke in double checking what supplies and gear they were just given and what could be carried out in their escape.

Titus had then extended his arm out toward the blonde with the gun in hand as he cleared his throat. Blue eyes flicked up briefly to catch the item before she hesitantly reached for it. A nod in thanks had been given before she began to inspect the make of the weapon.

Lexa, however, didn't seem to be all that interested in the supplies as she continued to look at Titus. She knew what was coming next and as much as she didn't like it, she knew what had been needed for her own people. Her vow as Commander had been to put them first, even above her own needs. This was no different. “Do it,” she commanded quietly. With her own hands moving to sweep her hair away from the back of her neck and reveal the Commander's sacred symbol, she turned to face both Clarke and Murphy. “You must serve the next Commander,” she directed through a breath toward Titus who remained still for a moment before he reluctantly gave a silent nod.

For the most part, Clarke and Murphy had been far too engrossed in the supplies to see Titus pulling out a box he managed to carry on him, nor had they seen the makeshift scalpel that he had retrieved. In fact, it wasn't until Lexa's sharp intake of breath that Clarke looked up to see a ghost of a sad smile upon her features. While it might have been one of the most beautifully tragic things she had ever witnessed, a feeling of pain and protectiveness overcame Clarke in that moment. “What are you doing?!” she called out toward Titus as she stood up in a swift motion and moved toward Lexa.

Murphy, now beyond intrigued by what was occurring, couldn't help but stand as well and make his way over toward the trio. Although, while Clarke had managed to reach the front of Lexa before she was stopped by a gentle hand grabbing her arm, Murphy had gotten closer toward Titus to see what had been at the base of Lexa's neck. He recognized the symbol but had yet to figure out how it all tied together.

“Do not be afraid,” she reassured Clarke tenderly. Even as worried blue eyes scanned over her face before they caught sight of something dark and ominous being pulled like strings from the back of her, Clarke couldn't help but take her word for it and allow herself that brief impact of reassurance. While she might not have understood it, she trusted Lexa.

“Clarke, it's an AI,” Murphy muttered in disbelief. Clarke, for her part, had managed to peer once more toward the back of Lexa's neck before her eyes concentrated on Lexa's instead, searching deep within them and offering hopeful comfort of her own.

“It's the Commander's spirit,” Titus corrected him as he spoke a few words that caused the small round item to retract its string-like attachments and curl completely into itself. This allowed him to place the object into another small container that seemed to have a designated spot before he placed it in a hidden space in his robes and went to work on closing the open wound for Lexa. 

“Lexa, are you okay?” Clarke questioned quietly with careful concern as she looked the other girl over before she viewed the stitching job that was hastily done. Once she thought it would hold, she snatched the cloth with salve from Titus' hand and placed it gently upon Lexa herself. Taking a step back, to inspect her own work, Clarke decided it worked for now and moved to pick up her things.

“So then you're like officially _not_ the Commander anymore, right? That must be a bummer,” Murphy threw out a moment later that earned him a glare from Clarke. 

“Murphy,” Clarke practically growled in warning.

“What? I'm sympathizing,” he replied lazily as he shrugged off the glare too. After awhile, Murphy finished gathering what he could carry on him and placed a thick robe over himself to provide a decent enough disguise that would help get him out of Polis.

“If this is what must be, then this is what must be for now,” Lexa replied with a tense and single nod.

“Hey,” Clarke added delicately as she finished placing on her own cloak and turned back toward the other. Placing both hands on Lexa's arms, she lowered them until she met a perfectly matching set of hands. Blue eyes now darting back and forth with more care as they settled on green, Clarke found herself making a new promise. One she intended to keep as her own personal fealty this time. “We'll figure this out, okay? Together.”

Gazing back into the hope of blue, Lexa offered the smallest twitch of her lips before she gave a subtle nod. Perhaps she wasn't the Commander anymore, but that didn't take away the fact that she at least still had Clarke for the time being and right now getting her to safety was her only concern.

Moving her head lightly to the side to make sure the cloth upon the back of her neck wouldn't move, Lexa was soon satisfied. Now placing on some light armor that had been given to her as well as her two swords upon her back, she then placed on a thick robe to match Murphy and Clarke's that hid most of her features too before she turned to them next. “Let's go. We only have until dawn to reach the blockade.”


	3. Chapter 3

Getting out of Polis undetected would have proven to be a formidable challenge if it hadn't been for the Grounder guards that had been on their side. One by one Clarke had watched them distract anyone who came too close to the trio moving along the dirt laced path before they eventually doubled back to catch up with them. Lexa had seemed to know exactly which direction to take to avoid more suspicion and Murphy for his part seemed to be following them without hesitation. 

Despite each twist and turn taken to head toward one of the gates, Clarke couldn't help but roam her eyes around all that had been around them. Grounders of all ages had been engaging in what she could only assume had been their daily tasks. From running around and playing to fixing up their merchant supplies and trading, Polis had looked so damn lively even at night that it made her heart ache to think that Lexa was being forced to essentially run from her people for now. When Clarke had left her own, it was because it had been her own choice. Not because she had been voted out.

Now looking at Lexa, it dawned on Clarke that they had technically both lost their people. Perhaps not in the same manner, but a loss had still been a loss no matter how it had occurred and this had been their people. Their _homes_. Clarke knew that she at least had Arkadia to travel back to and repair – but what about Lexa? Would she stay with Clarke there if Pike was taken care of? Or would she head elsewhere? Would she exile herself like Clarke had? The more she thought on it, the more her heart threatened to rise to her throat. Clarke didn't think she had it in her to see Lexa turn her back on her again.

Before she could think further on the matter, the blonde had nearly bumped into Lexa who had stopped just in front of her. Murphy had came to a halt beside Clarke, sharing a glance with her in wonder. The Grounder guards that had been circling them for protection had somehow wound up ahead of them, pushing the exit gate open for the three of them to leave through. Two horses stood just outside the line of Polis that Lexa once more began to head toward, leaving Clarke and Murphy to quickly follow behind.

“So we're supposed to just trust that it's that easy?” Murphy commented from behind as he glanced skeptically at a guard in passing.

“We're supposed to trust that Lexa knows what she's doing,” Clarke replied through a huff of her own before she pursed her lips and tossed a glance back to the guards that had stopped upon the line of Polis they had just passed beyond. “You do know what you're doing, right?”

“Relax,” Lexa replied coolly as she reached her trusted white horse and reached a hand up to gently smooth a braid within the mane. “Although, we should hurry. We're out in the open and while those guards will cover for us, there's no guarantee that those coming to relieve them will decide our fate as favorably.”

“I suppose I'm getting my own horse then?” Murphy interjected a second later as he moved to briskly maneuver his way onto the saddle of the horse a few feet from its only counterpart. The question had earned a curious look toward Clarke's way from Lexa, whereas Clarke herself had shot a glare once more toward the owner of the voice. “What? It's not like it's some secret,” he offered in response to the blonde with a roll of his eyes. 

“We'll talk about that later,” Clarke sighed out as she shook her head and watched Lexa precisely mount the horse, patiently waiting for her own turn. Once Lexa had been settled, a hand had been offered her way as Clarke took it without a thought and lifted herself up with the aid to settle just behind the brunette. 

“Ready?” Lexa inquired with a soft tone and a subtle turn of her head in wait of reply from the blonde.

Clarke for her part had managed to snake her arms around Lexa's waist and settle into her warmth for a second, allowing herself to sigh at the closeness she had once known not long ago. How unfortunate she thought it was the context of both. One at peace while the other geared for another battle. Both, though, still managed to make her heart beat wildly. 

“Ready,” she replied with a gentle nod against Lexa's back.

Offering a nod of her own as she allowed herself to melt into Clarke's embrace for a moment, Lexa's gaze turned steady as she set her sight upon Murphy. “Stay close to me, I know a route that will be more difficult to track.” Not that she thought it would be any less obvious where the three would be heading off to, but at least with the path she had in mind and the woods she knew like the back of her own hand, Lexa would give them a good advantage of time. 

And sometimes in war, that was all that was needed.

Letting her left hand slack on the reins then, Lexa placed it delicately upon Clarke's own two that had met at the front of her waist briefly. Clarke had offered the smallest and most gentle squeeze of her own against her as Lexa's lips threatened to tick upward in the slightest. It was their silent reassurance that she supposed they both could use just before she had the horse move to an instant gallop with Murphy's trailing just behind her.

xxxxxxxxx

Hours had passed as the three rode quickly into the depth of the forest. Night had turned grim and a gentle cool breeze had settled in the air. The time they had been making was good and Lexa knew they were going to arrive at the blockade a bit ahead of schedule. Without knowing where her most loyal of the clans had been, she knew it would be a risk to attempt to cross if the sun rose too high. But on that same thought, she also knew that the scouts that would have been patrolling the area just before the blockade would have been just as much of a problem despite their cover in the dark.

No matter which way she saw it, she would need to figure out who was where before she ventured too far. She thought it was just a shame she couldn't seek the appropriate counsel now. 

Slowing her horse down to a trot carefully as they came across a shallow river that quietly moved on its own way, Clarke yawned as her blue eyes flicked around with mild confusion soon filling them.

“Where are we?”

“We're about a few minutes out from the edge where the patrols of the blockade should be passing through,” Lexa replied casually as her horse slowed down even more to a walk. 

“Did I miss something, or...?” Murphy added as his own horse came to a halt near hers, a yawn soon being produced which had turned infectious and caused Clarke to yawn again as well. Lexa had observed the two though held her expression evenly. 

“We need to tread on foot from here carefully,” Lexa began as she waited for Clarke to dismount before she did. “Before you two can cross the blockade, I'll need to ensure it's through the right clan. Word might have already spread to them that I'm no longer the Commander.” The time spent in the cells had certainly put them in a disadvantage with that at least.

“Wait, two?” both Clarke and Murphy had voiced out quickly. While Murphy's had at least sounded as though he were simply tired and curious as he dismounted his own horse, Clarke's words had been more incredulous. 

Inhaling a bit as green eyes fell upon frantic blue ones, Lexa knew this wouldn't be easy. “Clarke, I need to go and you need to let me.”

“No!” Clarke bit back as her worry shifted quickly into anger. “No, you don't get to tell me that, Lexa, because you're staying.” Maybe she hadn't been able to voice that before Lexa's fight with Roan, but she wasn't about to let her go now without saying it. “Don't you dare give up,” she added, her voice firm with fight but pleading with desperation all the same. Clarke had been wondering what Lexa would do now that she wasn't Commander, but was this her walking away like she had done to her own people of Arkadia?

“I'm not,” Lexa replied with a subtle furrow of her own brows as her green gaze studied the other. 

“Yes, this is _exactly_ what we should be arguing about right now.” Shaking his head at the turn of conversation, Murphy moved towards the edge of the small river to scoop some water into his hands and splash it upon his face, both hoping he would wake up from this nightmare and give him a bit of distance from the two.

“Really? Because it sounds like you're going off to exile yourself, Lexa,” Clarke chimed back, blatantly ignoring Murphy's words. “What about your people? What about my people?” Pausing then as the desperation in her tone managed to seep into her eyes, Clarke shakily said, “What about us?” Clarke couldn’t think beyond what she would do in a situation like that, causing even more worry to fill her to the brim. Maybe they weren’t the same person exactly, but Lexa had once said they were the same. Only now Clarke hoped she was wrong about this one thing. 

Lexa's gaze had turned soft now as each hue of green flicked back and forth to look endlessly into pools of darkened and worried blue. Where Clarke had obviously seen an end for them with her departure, Lexa saw a possible continuation. “Our people and us are why I must leave, Clarke,” Lexa gently reasoned. “I need to rally the Boat Clan and get Roan to ally with me if we stand a chance at getting Ontari and those who support her exiled and Aden as my true successor.” 

“So you're just going to go alone, as the former Commander, to more Grounders and hope you don't run into anyone loyal to Ontari along the way? Lexa, that's got to be the stupidest plan,” Clarke chastised through a frustrated breath.

Narrowing her eyes only slightly at the implication, Lexa bristled. “Are you saying I'm not capable of taking care of myself?”

“No, no, that's not what I'm saying.”

“Here's an idea, how about the both of you shut up?” Murphy tossed in over his shoulder as he shook his hands free of water over the river. Two sets of glares had been sent his way, causing him to snicker lightly to himself before he prepared to drip his next words in sarcasm. “We're in dangerous territory with limited time to get to where we need to go, which is dangerous in itself, might I add. But yes, I'm clearly the only idiot here worrying about that.” 

Shifting her gaze back onto the blonde, Lexa visibly relaxed and sighed. “Then what are you saying, Clarke?” Despite being on the same page often without much effort, there were times like these that Lexa wished she could peek into the other’s head and figure out where she was at. Because as much as she was listening, Lexa didn’t understand. At least, she hadn’t until Clarke spoke once more. 

“You shouldn't have to, Lexa,” Clarke voiced out with an exasperated tone. Despite the situation, she was determined to show the other girl that she wasn't alone in this anymore and by extension, she wanted to know if the same sentiment would extend toward her. Biting her lip then as she searched for the right words to say that would hopefully magically convince Lexa, Clarke's eyes swirled with sincerity. “Stay with me,” she quietly pleaded in a confession of her own. “Help me with Arkadia and then we'll head to the Boat Clan and Ice Nation together. You don't need to do this alone.”

“Clarke –” Lexa managed just as gently.

“I know I'm asking you to do something else that's potentially dangerous and I know that what I'm going to say is entirely selfish. But I –”

“You need me.” 

“No, Lexa. I _want_ you,” Clarke finished instead as she swallowed down emotion that threatened to leave with her voice, her eyes always searching those hues of green for silent answers. “We deserve better. We deserve that someday.” Then, allowing her voice to drop to an echo of a whisper, Clarke took a step toward her and spoke, “Please don't make me watch you leave again.”

Considering Clarke's words as she stood still for a moment and allowed silence to consume the air around them, Lexa allowed an internal war to brew within. While it was a familiar battle between her head and her heart, without the possible counsel of the Commanders of the past, Lexa knew she would need to make this decision with no other thought and emotional weight other than her own.

Opening her mouth once as though she were about to speak, she had then stopped herself as she caught the look in the blonde's eyes – the one that continued to silently convey one single word. _Please_.

Unable to see such a look in the other's gaze that threatened to harm her own heart, Lexa closed the gap between them and met Clarke's lips in a soft and yet promising kiss. Just as all the other times, Lexa had felt the emotion swell within and threaten to spill over.

Returning the kiss effortlessly as she moved impossibly close, Clarke's eyes had closed, leaving her brows to furrow when air came between them a moment later. Allowing her eyes to open suddenly, the blonde had found that Lexa had pulled back. Though a small smile had formed upon her lips the moment she caught a glimpse of Lexa's own.

“Okay, Clarke,” she agreed as though it were the only right and simple decision to make, despite knowing that both could have potentially been the opposite. Head and heart were such fickle things. “Together.” 

“Oh, we're all good now? _Fantastic_. Can we get moving? I'm running on fumes as it is despite that break while we were riding and any fight in me is leaving by the second,” Murphy ranted as he made his way back over toward the pair, sensing their moment was just about over. Or at least over now that he had arrived.

“You're an ass, you know,” Clarke muttered as her gaze settled on him. 

“An ass who knows how to survive, thanks,” he wittily replied with a smug smile. “And you know how I do that? By _not_ making out with my girlfriend in the middle of the woods. Just saying. Didn't you watch any horror movies on the Ark?”

“Horror movies?” Lexa questioned with a confused glance between the two.

“They're uh, well,” Clarke began before she shook her head. “Forget it, it's not really important right now.”

Giving a single nod of her head as she reached over toward her back and swiftly pulled out both of her blades, Lexa twirled them once as she made her way toward a recently cleared path. “We should reach scouts soon. Stay quiet and low to the ground.” 

“What a bummer,” Murphy began in a drawl. “I planned to make as much noise as I could to draw everyone's attention.”

“Murphy, I swear.”

“Murphy, remind me to show you my balcony back at Polis.”

“Lexa!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer; I still don't own the show, characters, or song in the title. 
> 
> Hey, lovely readers! I hope y'all are enjoying the story so far, though feel free to give me some feedback! As for updates, I'm going to do my best to have a weekly sort of schedule, give or take life continues to chill.
> 
> And with that, buckle up! We're only just at the beginning, folks.


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